In a few hours time

It will be 2011

Lets just hope the sour moments will pass quickly

And the sweet moments will freeze with time

I will miss 2010

But i am sure 2011 will be better

I will miss the times a laugh like mad

I will miss the times i copy my homework..xD

But most of all.....

I will miss all the moments i spent with you

The sweet moments we share

I will miss you so much in 2011

Lets just hope we will see each other more often..(:

goodbye 2010...hello 2011

New Year's Eve

Tomorrow will be a whole new year

Today will be a memory tomorrow

Its been such a lovely 2010 darling

Lets make 2011 even more lovelier

Many challenges await us in times to come

But i am soo soo soo happy

To know we will be facing those hurdles together

Happy new year's eve love!

(:

i love you so much!♥

I don't wanna lose you..

Just because of sometimes the way i feel..

I don't wanna make you worry..

When i am all paranoid and sometimes burst into a mad fury..
I wanna be with you..

Even if you're not my beau..

I wanna be yours someday..

Even its just for one day..

I wanna hold you close..

Especially when it gets cold..

I wanna love you..

I really want you to know how i feel..

I want to be there for you..

As you have always been there for me <3

i love you princess♥

Merry Christmas darling

Greeting cards have all been sent
The Christmas rush is through
But I still have one wish to make
A special one for you

Merry Christmas darling
We're apart that's true
But I can dream and in my dreams
I'm Christmas-ing with you

Holidays are joyful
There's always something new
But every day's a holiday
When I'm near to you
The lights on my tree
I wish you could see
I wish it every day
Logs on the fire
Fill me with desire
To see you and to say

That I wish you Merry Christmas
Happy New Year, too
I've just one wish
On this Christmas Eve
I wish I were with you

Logs on the fire
Fill me with desire
To see you and to say
That I wish you Merry Christmas
Happy New Year, too
I've just one wish
On this Christmas Eve
I wish I were with you
I wish I were with you

(Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas - Darling)

Christmas time

all i want for Christmas is you!!!

You're my sweet drug..

My princess,my everything..

I love you!! ♥

Merry Christmas my dear princess..<3

i promise you i will not be like him.. overly protective..i will be who i am..i will be the one who you will love !! <3

Its All My Fault

Sometimes i think its all my fault..I am the one who goes all out ego and makes you feel bad..I am the one who says things that hurts you..I am the one who dose things that breaks your heart..so stop saying sorry every time something bad happens ok..Its not your fault..its mine..

Just to graze your skin,

Warmth surges through my body.

To touch your hand,

Sometimes my heart skips a beat.

To hold on to you,

It just feels perfect.

To put my arms around you,

Makes you the only thing in the world.

To give you a peck on your head,

The smell of your hair is just ecstatic.

To be by your side and put you to bed,

I can feel my heart beat for you.

ily♥

I Dont Know Why

I really dont know why but i am like damn emo now even i just came back from the trip with you and i loved every passing moment of it..Maybe its because i feel that i did not spend time with you..or i was damn anti-social..or i did not do something i should have done..but i will still try to stay positive(even i know sometimes i cant)..or maybe its just me being all paranoid and stuff..maybe a good nights rest can cure this..haiz...=(

you are my sweet drug,i cant live without you

ok..its the time if the year where everyone will start to write their Christmas list..even though sometimes we all know it cant really come through..heres mine^^

1. spend my Christmas with you
2. no fancy presents.. just a nice decent day with no arguments with my parents
3. spend the 12 days of Christmas with you
4. transfer back to SMKTD(although i will get murdered)
5. spend a lifetime with you(if it happens)
6. all i want you

Some list rite..♥

10 days

ok..here goes..will not be seeing you for 10 days..will not be texting you for 10 days..will not be skyping you for 10 days..how can i live with that..i am sorry coz i know how bored it gets at home..i am sorry that i chose to go..but its to late to change the clock..i know its just 10 days..but it would feel like 10 years..=(..but you will always be with me..in my mind..where you are always my only angel..in my dreams..where your my version of perfection..gonna miss you so bad..and i know you're gonna miss me too..

i am sorry='(

The way our heads touch..
My head starts spinning blindly into a beautiful bliss..
The way you rest your head on me..
It seems that you are controlling my heartbeat..

The way your shoulder brushes against mine..

I always have to remember to breathe..

The way our fingers lock and intervene..

The gaps of my hand just fits your fingers perfectly..

Warmth and love surges through my whole body..

The feeling of your hair..

Its just unbelievably indescribable..

The look in your eyes..

Makes you the only thing in my mind..
♥

huh..guess i am not what i used to be..all bubbly and sporting crap..now its just dull old me..and sometimes throwing in a cocky stunt knowing sometimes i could not even perform.oh well..life changes.. used to think my old self is a total jerk..guess this new self is more of a dick..oh well..the road is still long..gotta pick up the pieces and piece them together before this turns into a whole new crap hole..xD..gonna push myself to combine the old school..with some fresh stuff.. outgoing.. but not a total jackass..haha!!

Sacrifices have to be made in order to get what you want in life..though it may be sometimes agonizing..it is always worth it.. especially if its made for the ones you love..i dont mind pushing myself to the limits..all i want is just to spend some time with you..i will sacrifice and risk whatever i can for you..because..i love you..<3

Mundane old me..lol..It just sucks..plus the crappy personalities i have..Not a good combination..but these things will turn into habits..Which will be part of me every single day..Being a total dick is not how i planned it to be..Anyways..i have been changing for years now..These stupid things that hide within my closet..But still..I cant..i just dunno why..Maybe its because this is me..Maybe because this is who i am..A total moron..Though support form loved ones is always there..I just cant get it out of my system..Damn this is crappy..It just sucks especially to know that you promise people that you will change..And you ended up making things worst..Damn me =(

*still working hard to change..if it is not for ur support..i would have gone way past ..i dun know..a total a**hole..xD*

You're my my light in the dark,

Guiding me when the road is hard.

You're the drummer of my heart,

Without you i would just crumble apart.

You're my blanket when I'm cold,

And you're always there when i need someone to hold.

You're always there to stop my tears from becoming a river that's overflow,

Always there to rejuvenate my soul.

I found you and all my dreams come true,

Thus I will always be there for you,

To care and sacrifice for you.

Because i know that i love you.

My Princess♥

Forever

Forever..A word so strong filled with endless meanings and emotions..Some may say its just a mythical word..For others..It may be a word that they live by..For me..Forever..its not just a word that you can go around using it..It means so much more then it meet the eye..Its like a promise to someone..To love/care/lookout forever..Some people break that promise..And it really hurts..But life dose not always go according to plan..Love is always forever..Though those who you love may not be by your side always..We should always hang on to those who we love the most..If it does not work out..Only the chemistry between them is not forever..But as for love..it is never ending nor begging..It is always and forever..♥

2 Months,1 week, 2 days..The times i have been there for you and so have you for me..How much words can i write and pen down will not be able to describe how much my heart aches for you..Your smile..Your laughter..Your everything..I yearn for it every passing moment..But what i yearn for the most is not your appearances or personalities..But it is how much i yearn to love,care and sacrifice for you^^i know sometimes words like"always" and "forever" seems strong..but all i can say is this..i will always try my best be there when you need me..i will always sacrifice what i can for you..Why..coz its that simple..i am in love with you..and right now..there is no other place to be then to be in your heart..♥

Imperfect Little Old Me

There are so many things that i lack off..Lazy..A total dick sometimes..Dull..Emo...xD..Point taken..I suck at some areas..Too bad right..The bad side sometimes cannot balance with the positive side..But i dont really care..I guess i will just have to make do with what i have to make everything go as good as possible..Still..No matter how much flaws i have..(which i do..i know that..haha)..I will love you the way i have loved you all along..^^

Some

Some things just cant be said..
To tell you how much i am in love with you..
Some actions cant be done..
To show how much i care..
Some moments cant be replayed in my mind..
To know that i miss you so much..
Some words cant be expressed..
To say how much l love you..

The second best night i ever had in my life.. Spending the night with you..Just thinking about you..Nothing else..Lying there..Wishing time would just stop...

You may wonder why the second best..coz the first is the night where i found you^^ily!♥

i will..from now on..let my heart out to you..^^

♥

Thanks alot for being there when i needed you..When i am down..You always talk sense into me and i really appreciate that..I want to do the same for you..I want to be by your side..Picking you up when you fall..Giving you strength when you have none..I know i will be there for you..As you are always there for me^^

ilysm♥

Crossroads

People do things that they dont want to do..Like an average joe who works in a place he hates..There is always two ways..1. stick to it and suffer...2. work hard and get a better job..To bad these situations always happens to everyone..And for me..i would rather take option 2 then stick with something i hate..Will work hard on always taking option 2 instead of option 1..Even mainly people take option 1 coz they dont have to motivation to take option 2..

Its not you..

Its just me being immature and not thinking mature enough..

I am sorry for making you worry..

I promise i will get through this..

Without you..

I would be rotting to the ground..

Thx for all the support..^^

Time For Miracles

It's late at night and I can't sleep
Missing you just runs too deep
Oh I can't breathe thinking of your smile

Every kiss I can't forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
'Cause I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us

I just wanna be with you
'Cause living is so hard to do
When all I know is trapped inside your eyes

The future I cannot forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
'Cause I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us

Baby can you feel it coming
You know I can hear it hear all the souls
Baby can you feel me feel you....

You know it's time....
Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love

You know
Maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love

No I ain't giving up love
I aint giving up no
no I ain't giving up on us

♥

Why Did It Take So Long

Why did it take so long to have found you..When i did..I felt like my heart just slipped away from me..And became your possession..Your voice seems like angelic chimes..Your words calm me down when i am really pissed...Your everything..from top to toe..its just perfect..Your presence just makes me feel like nothing else matters except you..Your care for me warms every inch of my heart..i think of you every time..I feel so happy when you pop up in my mind..I want to pass each moment with you..I want to be by your side forever..I want my love for you to last more then forever..

i love you so much!!

♥

Your Voice

It feels so sweet to hear your voice..
After so long..
Its a remedy for all the waited times..
I love to hear your voice..
Its angelic..

ILY..♥

Love Letter..xD

This post/letter is specially dedicated to that special someone...xD..got no idea why i would write this..HAHA!!!!


There is no words to describe how much i fell in love with you..The time i look into your eyes..Its just an out of the world experience..Your smile..Your hair..All the small things that combine to make you as perfect as an angel..x)..I had always keep this feeling inside..But i really cant take it..I had to let it out..And surely enough it was totally worth it..=p..I hope you will take me into your heart..As i have done to you..I wish to be with you..Even if things may not work out..I will still care..Because this bond...Is more then just a love for a friend..I feel that this bond towards you is true love..And i will let it slip so easily..I will hold on..And love every single detail and bits of this part of my life..I may be crappy at times..And cant really be there when you need me the most..But i will always push my abilities to the max for you..

ily

Sorry

Sorry for the times i cant be there when you need me..
Sorry for the times i cant really comfort you..
Sorry for the times i cant be with you..

But i hope that you understand..
That i will always try my best..
And i know that you are the one that truly understands..^^

ily!♥

This Night

I hope this night will never end...
Its so.....
Beyond words..

ILY!!

♥

Random

SOMEONE ask me to post something long..but never say can post what rite...xD

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala


HAHAHA!!!!

I Miss You

I miss you so much..
There are no words to describe how much i miss you..
The days i put you my mind...
The nights where i dream of you...
The laughter of yours when i talk to you...
The smiles that you made me plaster on my face...
The happiness in my heart when I'm around you...
The times where it is just you and me...
I cant wait for another day to pass...
I cant wait to see you again..
I want to be with you...
I dont know if you are thinking the same...

imy♥

If it Wasn't For you

If is wasn't for you...
I would have gone on a warfare with that b*tch...
If it was not for you...
I would have still be what i was..(a total dick...xD)
If it wasn't for you..
I would not have found love...
If it wasn't for you..
Love would not have found me too..^^

ily!!♥

Everyday

Everyday i wake up i think of you..

Wondering without you, what would i do...

Everyday i think of you...

Especially when i am getting the blues...

My heart is getting pulled towards you..
And i know my love is sort of true...
Your voice makes me feel surreal...
And not to mention that ur cute..xD

Everyday..Every passing day...
I think and fall deeper in love with you...

(lol!! dunno why...suddenly just thought of this...xD)

Untitled

haha..short one..
sometimes words can never express how i feel for you...
You're beyond the dictionary to describe...LOL!!!
Just these words....
Perfection..x)

ily!!♥

Shaping My Life

You're shaping my life^^

Everyday i feel like i should have found you earlier...

But seems like faith will occur on its own..

Anyways...Glad to have found your love..

And will wait till you find mine too^^

♥

I Hate To See You Like This

I hate to see you like this...It really hurts...I know time is not on your side..And i know that sometimes it is all up to you...But try not to think too much...I know its hard...Who gives a shit if you change or whatever..Who cares what change you..Who bothers of what you've changed!!You're still you..And you will always be you..Thats all it matters...You're still my number one..No matter how you change...I will always be here.. But sometimes i ain't..And i am really sorry for that..:'(

Gonna get you through this!!^^

I Dont Care

I dont care..If i'm placed 1st,2nd or even 100th...

I will still love and care the same one i put you as number 1..^^

!!!!!!!

Totally...Insanely...Mother fuckingly..In a god damn fucked up situation now....

Why...is this me or what..OMG!!

DAMN IT!!!!

I Wonder

I wonder is it worth it...

I wonder should i try it..

I wonder should i go for it..

Even though it may sound stupid..

Seems like it ain't gonna be what i expected..

But still trying hard enough to start it...

Makes me wonder...

Am i gonna ponder..

On these thoughts that seem like little pretty wonders..

Should i even dare to try to push it to the limit...

Still thinking hard at it...

Dont dare to start stommpin' at your front door damn it..

Now i am like a messed up drug addict..

You're like my cocaine and i just could not quit it..

But all i wanna do is just to really think about what i'm gonna do before i take my head and really take a hit at it..

After a hard night thought

Should I

Am i..Aren't i..

Should i...Should't i...

Do i..Don't i..

Can i..Can't i...

Damn..I'm still me i guess..=(

Exam

sienz....exam..this sucks..juz a few more days...and i am freee!!!!! then gonna work on my SC2...xD

of course help you too la..^^

I'll Be There

I hope i'll be there when you need me...To care..To love...

I want to be by your side..

Even if it means giving up some of my time...

The urge to be there..Kills me inside...

To be able to comfort your cries...

That makes me so fill with pride...

Sometimes when i am not by your side..

I feel so guilty inside..Even though i may not show..

It really tears me apart to leave you behind...

Please forgive for the times i am not there..

Or for the times i did not do something i promised...

But i want to tell you..

That i am willing to give it all...Maybe...Because...

I LOVE YOU...

<3

Growing stronger

This feeling seems to be growing stronger day by day..I dunno how much i can take it before i let it all out...The things i wish to say...The stuff i wish to do..The moments i wish to share...But i must be patient^^Coz gaining 'the trust part' does not come so easily..Still...It grows stronger and much sweeter day by day^^

i dont love you like i loved you yesterday..Because i love you more and more each day^^

Falling In Love

This strong feeling...

This increasingly close bond...

These beautiful and lovely images...

I think i am falling in love

This Feeling

What is is feeling...

I have never felt it before...

Or maybe i felt it before..

Somehow i cannot recall...

What is this feeling...

your picture comes to my mind..

Whether it is day or night...

You make my heart take flight...

What is this feeling...

This feeling i cannot solve...

This feeling will surely evolve..

Though this feeling is the best of all...

Am i falling in love??...

Cherish The Ones Your Love

Not being emo here..Juz factual^^

In a blink of an eye you could just lose someone..In an instant he/she could be by your side..The next thing you know he/she is gone...WE should always cherish the ones whom we love the most..The ones who we care for..Spend time with them..Compensate...Understand...We have to care,cherish and most importantly love the ones we love..Before we loss it all...

3 words

Words cant express how i am feeling now except these 3...

I Miss You....^^

Help

Everyone needs help along the way..Support...Care..We all need help..And we too must help others.. Not because it is the right thing to do..Because helping people is what we do..To help is to give support to others..Just as others have given us...When we help..We help to our fullest..We dont give up..If we do then what is the point of helping...??Patience is virtue..We have to have patience and not give up on others..That is helping..That is support..

I will not give up on you..Until you are 100% cured.. I will find you a cure..^^

Road To Success

It all seems clear to me now that i am actually moving on with all this commotion and crap!! After going through all the tough times.. sometimes we have to look and think beyond the box that is keeping the box that we usually think outside..(sounds funny..read it again..may work^^)..The possibilities out there are way more vast and expendable then we could ever imagine..Sure that suffering for almost a year and a half can kill your heart and mind..but it also gives you endurance and strength to endure things that we could not imagine!!Leaving that dark and emo life does seem good..and it is..but sometimes during that period of time makes you realize that love is hard to find..and harder to let go..Lesson learnt..

now i feel that..out there you are..

All This Time-One Republic

Six on the second hand
Two new years resolutions
And there's just no question
What this man should do

Take all the time lost
All the days that I cost
Take what I took and
Give it back to you

All this time
We were waiting for each other
All this time
I was waiting for you
We got all these words
Can't waste them on another
So I'm straight in a straight line
Running back to you

I don't know what day it is
I had to check the paper
I don't know the city
But it isn't home

But you say I'm lucky
To love something that loves me
But I'm torn as I could be
Wherever I roam

Hear me say

All this time
We were waiting for each other
All this time
I was waiting for you
We got all these words
Can't waste them on another
So I'm straight in a straight line
Running back to you

Yeah, all, running back to you
Yeah, all, running back to you
Yeah...
Oh, every time is so far
It's just so far
To get back to where you are

All this time
We were waiting for each other
All this time
I was waiting for you
We got all these words
Can't waste them on another
So I'm straight in a straight line
Running back to you
I'm straight in a straight line
Running back to you
Straight in a straight line
Running back to you

^.^

Tables Turned

~Every step an animal takes can change the whole course of the pack..Every move a person makes can alter another persons life...~

All it takes is a little push and the tables are turned..Things change..A quick but crucial thought can change everything...It all seems like a dream..But once you get a hold of it..Nothing is a dream unless you think it is...Quick decisions are to be made as who knows what has the future install for us all?? Some things may seem impossible to do..But all it takes is a slight push at just the right moment..And impossible may just seem possible..^^

The Top Ten Things I want/need/want to do(31/8/2010)

This list goes from 10-1.

10.Go to a four seasonal country to study(like Europe)^^

9.Study to gain knowledge..But NO EXAMS!!!

8.Get my mom off my back^^

7.Get my mom to piss off^^

6.Learn from ALL my mistakes

5.Have you by my side

4.Let you go(never seems to work)

3.Be by your side always

2.Turn back time to make things right

1.Be with you again(hopefully forever and a better situation^^)

Time Passes By

It has been over 2 years..Time passes by...But why does these deep scars never heal...They say time heals all things..That is total bullshit..Those war-torn wounds...How could others just get over it so easily..It makes them look like they just loved for the sake of it...No matter what i do..What i try..I cant heal those deep cuts..The question still remains-Is anyone out there waiting for me??

Epic Failure

OMG!!!! I am failing in every single aspect!!! No matter how hard i try i just cant do it..No matter who i look at..It always results the same damn thing...I dunno how am i gonna survive this...Oh god..IS someone really out there waiting??

Surprise

OK fine..since some people wanted me to post a happy post..i will do it..happy guys??xD..

Birthday..Was more then what i expected..It was on Evo night...Great stuff...To top it all up..The gang(jia jun,nic,kenzai,josh,kin) bought me a hoodie..LURV IT!!!Thx guys..As the night went on..Felt damn tired coz did not eat dinner..Then when i got back home...A surprise party was waiting for me..It was really cool...especially that Edward and Sam Low come..All in all..Great day^^

Seeing You Brightens My Day ^^

Seeing You Brightens My Day ^^..

Your smile just lights up my heart,

Even though we are far apart.

Seeing You Brightens My Day ^^

Even though we are not together,

Even when i am under the weather.

Seeing You Brightens My Day ^^

Even as i try to let go,

The feeling never stops to grow.

Great Friends

Great friends stick up for you,

When you are down and rolling in the dirt.

Great friends laugh with you,

And cry with you all the way.

Great friends sacrifice their comforts,

Just to see you happy.

Great friends give themselves up,

Just so that you can live your life.

*Inspired by Andrew Lai^^*

Lessons

Dreams can become a reality,

Reality may turn sour.

Realities go bad,

And all is left are hopes.

Hopes can carry you far,

in both good an bad.

Hopes will turn into venom,

Begging you to crave for more.

The hardest thing to do,

Is to move on a false hope.

But once you take that step,

False hopes become valuable lessons in life.

*inspired by tse li*

My Mom

My mom does not understand anything...

She never ever stops to think.

My mom's thinking is so old,

She can never get anything unfold.

My mom is so retarded,

Nobody would care if she is burnt.

My mom is so bullshity,

She bullshits her way to infinity.(lol!!!)

Progress

The first step you take is always the hardest...But once that step is taken..The road ahead seems so much easier to overcome...The first step may be a second..A minute..A year...Now i am on the road to recovery^^YEA!!!! But i still have loads of ground to cover before i am fully rehabilitated...Oh well..At least there is a tinge of light in the darkness...Now...how to make that light blow up into flames.....hm........

It Just Seems Different Without You

Life just seems different without you standing by it...I seem more reckless...Unrational...I always don't think twice before i act...It was not like that before...It was always smiles and joys...Frowns were even turned in to smiles...But i do seem do be more aware of the endless possibilities when an action is performed...Though i do not think twice before i act..I realize the outcomes of my actions...Though it is just my subconscious telling me that..I know that it is never how it used to be...Life seems to be more colourful before...I am not saying it isn't now..It is just dull..Like the colours of a rainbow compared to the colours in the night...Still trying very hard^^...

Smooth Sailing So Far

Everything seems to be going the way i planed so far... Looking across the horizons... Being able to feel again^^... Able to understand more about the meaning of love...I am sure i am gonna really experience crappy hurdles soon...But for the time being..Let this moment of regaining back myself to last... And i really hope that i can get over this as the mid-year holidays come to a close...

Signing Up For FB

Fine..Since many people "requested* me to use FB..(you guys know who you are)...I did it..Now i officially have a facebook account..Happy Facebooking^^

Holidays Are Here ==

Exams are over..Holidays are here!! But it is gonna be one hell of a holiday...Gonna rethink about life..Gonna get on with this crap..Gonna force everything upon myself..Just to get this stupid situation over with...It is gonna be a bumpy ride...It is gonna be one hell of a holiday...I just hope nothing goers wrong and everything goes according to plan...damn..

Seems Like Your The Better Man

Seems like your the better man...More attention..More care..Less trouble..Less pain...You have done a so much more better job then me...I salute and with all my heart...and with all my heart's contempt..I am glad that she has found you...You make her alive...Jovial..Happy...She has found life in you...Damn i may jealous...But i am happy for both of you ( it can happen..trust me)... Finding love is hard..To maintain it is even harder...I hope you can can love and cherish her for life...as she is someone very special...And the price to pay to let her slip away from your finger tips is too high...Congrats to you both..And gave a lovely and blossoming relationship...

Decisions

Decisions decisions...When will these things don't matter anymore...Stupid decisions...And why does this decisions have to be so stupid and retarded...It plays your mind into a subconscious state...Making you think like there is no tomorrow...This is plain crap...Why cant i make a simple decision..Why must my mind..Over think everything i do...DAMN IT MAN!!!

Love Is A Gamble

How long more do i have to take this bullsh*t...It has already been almost 6 months...6 months of never seeing you..And yet...I still cannot do it...I do think of other people and i admit it..But they all remind me of you..That's the damn problem...I cant raise you from my mind...Why..WHY!!!??? It is like a drug...Once taken..It is hard to not continue...Love is a gamble...You win or lose..It is that simple..Unfortunately..I lost the gamble..Now..I guess i have to pay the price..Which costs 6 months or more of pure bullsh*t and heartbreaks...

I listen To myself

I will only listen to myself in the end...True that people's advice are good...But from time to time..Making your own stand is the best thing to do...Why do some people follow others advice..They are just like dogs..Obey and never think for themselves...Think hard...Listen y=to your inner voice...Believe and trust yourself..Take advice and interpret BUT do not follow 100%...If we do follow...That would make us just like any other pets..

I Will support You Always^^

I will support you always^^ 

Through times of fun...

Through time of pain..

I will support you always^^

In anything you do...

I will always stay true...

I will support you always^^

For every moment i shall...

Even if it is wrong...

Because I'd stay true to you...

Why

Why do we all feel this way...
The feeling of lost...the feeling of pain...

Why do we all love this way...
Till sacrifices are made all the way...

Why do we all lose this way...
Till we have nothing else to pay...

Why do we stay this way...
For maybe this is the only way...

Random

In this post..I will randomly type crap to release my inner feelings and anything else...here goes..


!@#$%^&*()IUDTYHJNBVCFHDXER&*(U!IJO@#$ VEGKUEIT*Y(UJIPMKNE JG(HUOIJLKM


That would be all for the time being...

Keeping Me Sane

Being all emotionally upset...It keeps me sane...It controls me...It makes me restrict myself from going overboard...I don't like it..But as some say...Remedies are always bitter...I need to be like this..At least for the time being..So that i can realize and restrict myself if things get out of hand...I don't want to keep this up..Is anyone out there??!!I cant bear this kind of distress...It is so agonizing...But of all..I need to keep this feeling..If not..I may run wild...Totally free...Like a boar out of its cage...I cant lose this feeling..But i want to let go..OMFG!!!!!!WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

First Time

The first time I laid eyes on you

A seed was sown within me.

Since then it has grown,

Its creeping tendrils ensnaring my heart,

Filling my head with thoughts of you.

Now a fiery blossom is blooming,

Radiating passion, stirring up longing.

Each day with you,

These feelings grow stronger.

Standing near you I am enchanted

For I am in the presence of an angel.

No longer can these feelings be held in.

From my chest they burst outward

In this confusion only one thing is certain.

           ...............................................

I Just Cant Break Away

I cant break way...I just cant..I don't know why...It seems like all things will be attracted to one magnet which is you..No matter how hard i try...I cant break free...Can anyone pull me out of this..I am trying my very best here...My love is so toxic...It intoxicates me while i am having pleasure...What a masochist i am...I hate being a masochist..I just want to be normal...Have normal feelings....Live a normal life..And not being so egoistic...I don't want to feel bad for the things i do wrong...I just want to be normal...I cant break way...Is anyone out there??!!!

After A Year

A year has past,

A love is lost,

A soul is broken,

A heart is shattered.

A year has past,

A soul still searching for love,

An optimistic soul,

But still in a state of devastation.

A year has past,

Since the day we separated,

Crying till there are no more tears,

Leaving only memories at the back of my head.

A year has past,

I hope that i left foot prints on your heart,

Hoping no wind will be able to wash it away,

But i guess there is no such things as " no winds".

A year has past,

Only memories remain,

My love for you will linger on,

And i hope i will continue to pursue in that direction.

Be Who You Are

This post is inspired by a certain somebody..

Be who you are..Never let anyone tell you you ain't beautiful( i mean ..you get the point)...When they tell you that..All the things that they say..Are all lies..BE who you are...Take control..If you don't like something about yourself..Change it...Listen to your heart and only yours..Take comments and criticism...Judge them..See whether they are reasonable ones or just bullshit...Don't just accept everything the world tells you..Think twice before you act(this is also important in life)...You are who you are..Don't let anyone change that( of course unless change from bad to good)..Don't let people tell you you are immature or something they don't like..(unless you know that you are on the wrong)...Live your life you want to..Not how others tell you to...

P/S: The song "beautiful" by Eminem is damn inspirational..listen to it..You can download it or listen from my music player..

It Is All Just An Act

It is all just an act..Trying to be happy when in reality i am not..Trying to be bubbly but on the inside..Felling sick and bad...Some say a habit is formed while trying to do something continously...Well...I hope that is true..I want to be happy and bubbly..Not just on the outside..But on the inside as well..I am bored of feeling bad...But i just cant let the feeling go..It keeps me sane..And it keeps me from going bananas...I cant let that negative feeling go...It is my source of sanity...And while on the outside..I try to be happy....On the inside...I don't...I want to be happy..And i will always keep myself in check..I don't want to lose this fight..And i will do all it takes...From keeping myself sane..To trying to be happy...And being all patient..To win this long lost race of mine...I will keep trying to act happy..In hopes this act..will eventually become my habit...And when that time comes...I hope that keeping myself sane..Does not require to be feeling shitty about myself anymore...

I Still Cant Find It

I still cant find love,

Is it under a rock,

Or just in front of my face.

I still cant find love,

Days and months have passed,

And i have not seen or heard about love.

I still cant find love,

A sign,a face,a smile,

Or even just a passing phase.

I still cant find love,

Where could you be,

How long should i wait??

I still cant find love,

I will wait Painfully but patiently,

Until you turn up on my front door.

If Love

If love were what the rose is,

And I were like the leaf,

Our lives would grow together,

In sad or singing weather,

Blown fields or flowering closes,

Green pleasure or grey grief.

Time

Time is too long,

For those who suffer.

Time is too short,

For those who prosper.

Time is money,

For those who live for something.

Time is a waste,

For those who live for nothing.

Time is too sudden,

for those who fear.

Time is too slow for those who wait.

But for those who love,

Time is eternity.

I Would Give Anything

I would give anything,

Just to know that you are safe.

I would risk anything,

Just to be with you again.

I would sacrifice anything.

Just to be in your heart again,

I would let go of everything,

Just to say" I love you" again.

Three Words

Just three little words
don't seem like enough
for someone whose smile
still brightens my day,
whose touch can make me forget
the rest of the world.

They don't seem like enough
for someone who's always been there
to celebrate with me
when everything goes my way
and to hold my hand
when my whole world
seems to fall apart.

But even though "I Love You"
can't express the depth
of my feelings for you.
I hope you know what's in my heart.
Because loving you
means more to me
than anything in the world
and it always will.

I Hate Myself

I cant stop hatting myself...The things that i do...The things that i say..The acts i commit...I do not like it ...Things like being irresponsible..Or disrespectful...I hate it and i still do it..For what?!!This is useless...I hate things that i do and i still do it even i know that it is not right...What benefits do i get??It is like committing murders...Knowing it is bad enough...But you still continue to kill...To Do things you hate...I hate myself for that..Uh..when can i stop all this madness???

You Dont Understand Shit

Mom..What do you know...You think that everything i do..Is for my own fun and pleasure..Fu*k you...You think that this is the 20th century even though i have told you a thousand times it is not..You still don't understand...You think you are always right..Limiting the possibilities....Putting me into distress...You think that you have given me freedom...You think that i have gain exposure VIA you..Screw that...You always think the decisions you make are the greatest..That your say is the ultimate..Well i got news for you..They are not...Your say does not even have a reason behind it...Your says is " Because i am your mom so you are to do as told"...Damn you...In that case...If the king ask you to go to do something you hate...and you declined..He will say" i am the king...You are to do as told..."...HA HA....

Rewind

If i can rewind time..To the time where i can still change all this...To the day i had say that...I really wish i could...How i wish i can change all this things and have it become how it was then...I really wish...I can make things right...I cant continue this crap...Every dying second...I picture you..i think of you..And i regret with all my heart..How and why did i lose my life...It pierces me like a burning knife...If time is rewinded back..I will do anything just to make things back how it used to be...But i know that rewinding time is impossible...It is pointless just to daze at the past..So i will make an effort..To have the future..Look like the past...

Grip Harder

~You got one chance...One opportunity...To seize everything you ever wanted..For one moment..You captured it..You just let it slip..~Eminem

As an opportunity comes forth..WE must always grip it hard..And never let it slip...When we let it slip through our fingers...The lost we feel is tremendous..The thought of losing the things you desire the most...Just like that...It is really a sad and melancholic...Always hold on to whatever we desire..Dreams..Hopes...Opportinities...When it is tightly in our safe hands...Always do whatever it takes to keep it there..Never let go no mater how hard the road can get..Or how many punches you have to take just to grasp the things dearest to you...It is never worth it..To just let it all slip..Because of a slight slip up..Just like dropping an antic vase to the ground...The outcome is never pleasant...

Every Passing Moment

Every passing moment...Usually it will widen the gap...But instead it gets closer...Why does this keep on happening...Every step i take..Every breathe i breath..IT seems to remind me of you..WHy...IT does not make any sense...How long to i have to bear this burden..I just want to let it all go..But i cant let go..It is like all my muscles are having a negative impulse of letting it all go...It seemed like yesterday when we first met...when my heart stoped....now...How am i suppose to move on..when everyday my feelings for you gets stronger?day by day...night by night...until when shall this feeling stop??....

This Day Last Year

Chinese new year...the time when i always leave for another country..The time when i should be having a whale of a time..But it is different since last year...Last year when i left..My heart was still in Malaysia..While i was trying to enjoy..I keep on thinking about you...This year will be even worst...You left ..I stayed...I cant get you out of my mind...How much longer should i wait before i can actually move on..Time is not on my side...It is so slow...I just want it to end..Why cant i stop thinking about you??As i said again and again....I don't want to move on..But if i don't...I know what is coming...

Valantine's Day

As always...It is always a happy occasion on Valentine's day...Love is in the air....Couples cuddling...Notes exchanged...Marriages being proposed...But has anyone ever think of those who are on the flip side??Those people who have lost their love..Those who are always spending Valentine's day alone..Those who are broken-hearted...Valentine's day is no doubt a special and lovely day...But those heartbroken people will go through the whole day suffocating..Knowing that the previous Valentine's..They are with their love...and now..they are all alone...being left behind...no love....no life..no soul...It is a day that they dread...The day which signifies a lost to them...No love is being spread for those who have lost it all...Until the day comes when they find their love back...Valentine's day will be as bad as hell to them..

Obstructions And Obstacles Of Life

Obstructions can really disrupt the course of life...unless you go with the flow and avoid it...The obstruction will make your life stuck at a specific spot...Obstacles can alter the goal that you want to achieve...To be able to eliminate obstacles is better then just to take it on head first...If you take on an obstacle and fail...Then the goals and dreams of what you want will all be disrupted...Sometimes...Some obstacles are good for you..like schooling and examinations...Those obstacles have to be taken on...Bad obstacles like drugs and taboos have to be avoided...Although obstacles have to be overcome as fast as possible...For now...I will never go past this obstacle..Because i know that if i wait long enough..If i will just be patient...I can skip all troubles and get to my goals instantly...I am still gonna wait until my whole body gives up...Till then...

Photograph

A photograph tells many things...A memory....a smile....Laughter...Sadness....a photo is used to preserve all forms of memories..good or bad...in a piece of picture...so that we can remember what has actually happened at the spur of moment...A photo can make you cry...laugh...think..any emotion will be triggered by just observing and recalling a photo...It is always perfect...To be in a perfect and happy photo...To just stay in it..And savour the moment forever...

What Do You Understand...Mom...

What do you understand...Mom...You sound so stupid..Telling me what to do..running you errants...you are ridiculous...You think just because you are my mom so you are the boss of me?? well... i don't know how much more of your crap i can take...You never seem to understand what i am going through even though i already told you that i am not you...You think just because i am your son...You think i am having the life that you are having when you are a teenager...Screw you...you never understand ..and never will...You will never ever understand...You bit*h...

Where Do i Go...

How long more do i have to wait ...It feels like i am being sucked into a wrap hole where there is no time and space..Only me alone and isolated in a square box...Being trapped by four walls...No where to run...No where to hide...No where to run....Just staying there until i am able to regain back control of my life...I am already a nihilist...I want it all back..But i cant get it back..Being stuck here..Not knowing which step to take...I may have great friends that support me all the way..But i myself cant bear the pain...the pain where i cant feel pain anymore..I want to feel..To be sad..To be truly happy at least for a day...To love again...How much more do i have to wait...How much more beating do i have to take to get it all back...I want to stay on...I just want to be part of you again..I want to wait..But i know if i do...I will lose everything..But what is there to lose..When i already have nothing to lose...

Love

Love revolves around a person,

To love, care and sacrifice for a reason.

For love we will do anything,

To avoid love from possibly fading.

For love we will trust and learn,

As well as to be occasionally hurt.

But isn't that what love is about,

To see your lover amongst the crowd.

We must know there are no conditions in love,

The limit is beyond the skies above.

To love forever and beyond always,

Is to cherish every single phase.

Love is not just a feeling,

It is an indescribable act of caring.

Those in love should know what it is like,

To give someone your entire life.

In the times of sorrows and darkness,

Your love will always be the brightest.

Love will always show you the way,

Even after our hair turns grey.

Nobody can ever search for love,

Love is a bond which is created from the stars above. 

A bond so strong it is unbreakable,

It is truly unmistakable.

When love is being torn and broken,

the words are always left unspoken.

To lose the one that is your soul,

Is to lose all your dreams and goals.     

I Don't Know If I can Take It

Damn it....Although good things comes with price tags...I cant bear this particular one...The price is so expensive..All the memories...All the fun..All the love..Gone just for this...Why ...I don't understand why should I do this..And yet i still do it for the sake of my future...Though it may alter the course of the future...The things that are all lost just for it..Is it worth it??Is it worth giving up for...It sounds stupid to give up everything just for a change of environment...Though it does help...I already feel that i am going to loos more than i can gain...Damn it...