List of shit tht happened this hols

1. Stupid parents
2. Fucked up schedule
3. New lappy got prob
4. Skills drop RAPIDLY on the ladder
5. Rotting at home
6. Getting really fat
7. Not doing anything
8. Heartbroken for various reasons best known to myself
9. Useless  parent *see how i retyped this*
10. Tired on a daily basis
11. Emo shizz due to all the nonsense
12. Leads to crappy christmas

AHHH I DUNNO WHAT TO DO!! FML 

Merry X'mas you beautiful monster :)



if yo somehow still read this blog..

Worst christmas ever :'(
Everything just ends up wrong..
Do i look like i care..
Its your jobs..your choice..Dont you guys drag me into your shit..
Screw both of you..
No one to fall back too..


:'( FML!!!

wish college starts faster :'(

You're like a beautiful monster..
In a beautiful nightmare..
I dunno how to rid of you..
Yet i want you so bad..
But in this beautiful nightmare...
Its just a nightmare..
Not a reality..
And everything i do..
Whether its to get rid..
Or to hold you in my arms..
Is hard to come true..
Even with me putting me dreams into motion..

If you somehow see this..
I surely darn wish you'ed tell me...
Have you moved on..
I surely darn hope you do..
But some part of me still dream that you're not..

Oh god SC grow up..move on..wtf is wrong with you :'(

hattin life after SPM..SHIT college better come faster... FUCK THIS :'(

The Christmas decorations..Especially the ones in Mid valley...
Dang how so much has changed..
AHHH...why does this still happen..i thought hardcore gaming would take this away!!!

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

Don't forget me, I beg

I remember you said,

"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,

Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,"

~Adele-Someone like you~

You're never a nightmare..
You're the only thing that keeps me thinking of a better future..
For the promise i kept...
I will do it...
Somehow...I don't know how..Somehow.. :')':

I wonder...Even its so close to my doom..Yet i still ponder..oh well...blog it out before it implodes in me..


Do you even still think of me..
Do you even look at my tweets..
Do you look at my wall..
Do you bother to keep track..
Do you even read this blog anymore..
Do you even wonder.....
That i would still ponder..after all this time...
That i would wonder whether you would wonder about all these things...


GOD BRAIN..STOP MIND FUCKING ME :'(..i got SPM u know...

URGH!! CANT THE MADNESS JUST BLOODY STOP??!! :'(

There is no point of going forth..When you feel that the opposition has already given up and moved on...

So...Where do i go from here...

I should not be lying to myself.. Telling myself..Its ok...Your're happy..Everything is fine..Go with the flow..ITS BULLSHIT...I  should just let myself be me..But the thing is..I have been lying to myself so often..I forgot what it was like to be me..What i used to be..Which makes things even worst then what it already was before..

Damn it what is wrong with me..has god actually forsaken me?? :'(

I wanna...But part of me says dont..BUT I WANNA!! GOD DAMN IT!!! :'(

The song that means alot to me~ Secrets -One Republic~

First try.. not good...got to improve my dance moves..LOL..Way long way to hit my expectations....sour...

p/s: was inspired by you to do this song as my first vid...if you somehow watched it...i dunno....just means alot to me to do this song...

The more i......

The more i try to move on..
The more i think of you..
The more i try to hit on others..
The more i think of you..
The more i tell myself its over..
The more i think of you..
The more i wanna get you out of my head..
The more i think of you..
The more i say" i dont miss you" or "i dont love you"
The more i miss you...
And the more i love you...

Get off my back woman!! I DONT NEED YOU!!  :'( 

I miss you...I miss your voice..Your smile..Your everything...dammit...

I'm about to lose my mind...
You've been gone for so long..
I'm running out of time...
I need a doctor..
I need a doctor..
I need a doctor to bring me back to life....

*STOP THINKING AND MOVE ON FOOL...oh wait...maybe i just wanna be that fool who waits for you*

Guess it a no...

No matter how much i try to forget..The harder i try..The harder it is to let go...AHHH!!!!!

~Still dreaming~

I wanna scream out to you...
I wanna let you know so badly...
I wanna plead so badly...
But i am terrified...
Not for me...
But for you...
~sorry~

sometimes the best way to clear your mind..is just to let all your emotions out and lay it on the table

1 week... wow...time passes so slow...

The scariest and most painful part of all this..Is that i dont even feel anything...My heart is numbed..What remains..I too am not sure..BUT dont worry...time heals everything..Or so i say..

Acting is never easy..At least i can cover up my heart..

Trying so hard

Will i ever get a second chance in the future..Just wondering :)

*I Was Gonna Say -Can We Start Over* Just a post to say thanks :)

I know it sucks...Not only for you but for me too..But its based on best decisions..And i can live with that..Here are somethings i would like you to know....If you ever read this post :) *hoping you are reading*

1. Thanks for every passing moment...Every memory..Every photo..I could not have spent it any better with anyone else except you
2. Thanks for the times you brought me up when i am down, giving me support, advice..More than what i can bargain for..(especially the parent part)
3. Thanks for showing me..Love is never lost..It can always be found.
4. Thanks for showing me, that chilling when times are rough can be the best solutions to things.
5. Thanks for letting me know that sometimes change is needed to be a better man.
6. Thanks for everything.
7. Its not your fault. It takes 2 to make things work.
8. I may still wait ...hehe....

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

*see u on thurs ...LOOL*

Hmm...come to think of it..All these unneeded stress..All comes from my own doing..Its pointless actually..It only makes people who care for you worry more about you...I really got to learn how to chill...

Thanks for prompting that out to me bro :D

Thanks for making my B'day memorable...

Though its just a phone call...

It means so much to me ..

It does not matter what i get for my birthday..

A phone, a jersey...a high-grade keyboard..

You're still by my side...

As i am by yours..

And that is already THE perfect birthday gift..

To be by your side..

Loving you...

Thanks dear ♥

Most boring yet tiring b'day..zzz

All i want is to spend this day with you...♥

Whats the point of talking to people...where the only thing you can do is tell them things will be alright...knowing that words dont help...zzzz..still....trying hard :)

MOM...FUCK YOU!!! IF YOU GO TO HEAVEN I WOLD RATHER BURN IN HELL !! LALALALALALALALA~~~

~Forbidden love~its so awesome on piano :')

Sometimes it really hurts me seeing you like that.Trying to act like everything is fine..But deep down i can see its not..Every time the laughs we share...I really wonder if they mean anythign to you...I hope it does...I am afraid when you know the truth you will just explode..Lets jsut hope you will handle it well..I AM SORRY SIS ><

Time heals wounds dear..just that it works super slowly....wish i could speed it up for you...but i really dunno how...sorry ><

Things to do till SPM

-Step down gaming time( not easy)
-Do homework and not copy(lazy to even touch the book)
-Prepare for concert(Thank god i got not much to do)
-Study(yea right)
-Dont let stress take over(It already has)
-Dont forget to exercise(will definitely remember)
-Dont go insane(will try)


So....as we geeks say...GGWP...><

~Whatever does not kill you makes you stronger~

Home

Being at home...
You feel happy..
Stress-less..
Carefree..
Loved...
Home is where the heart is...
I will go anywhere with you...
Coz my heart is with you...
I am at home..
No matter where is am..By ur side...
That's where my home is..
♥

I'll always be there when you are down..
So just smile and be happy and never carry a frown...
With or even without a crown..
You will still be my beloved princess..

hehe<3

Thank you for being there when i need you..

thanking you for talking me through my problems...

Where could i be..

What could i have become..

If it wasn't for you..

<3

Thank you so much ILYSM!

I know saying this is stupid..

Since it is not even real yet...

But....I just wanna say it...

8 months....

Its just a small fragment of a great lifetime spent with you..

ILY ♥

Girl i so know how you feel..

Its just a stage where you keep hitting yourself..

Trust me..Been there done that..

We all have our flaws..

Thats what makes us human and special in our own way..

Dont forget that..

Flaws are part of who we are..

It helps us grow and blossom into something better..

~Stay strong princess~

<3

I never thought I'd find myself
the day that i found you.
Plans for only
one of me
are future plans for
two.
Soul mates in this universe
that make the world surreal.
For when I'd given up on dreams
you showed me love is real.
And now that all my love for you
will never cease to grow,
please take me in your loving arms
and never let me go.

~Anne G.Fegely~

I can drop to the bronze in SC2..
I can lose all my friends too..
I can just burn my college degrees..
I can be a child and get down on my knees..
But i cant..
I cant lose you..

Patience is they key ^^

You made me so i was born this way..
Dont you dare tell me what to do..I am who i am..
And if you think you're screwing with me for my future.. You can get the F!!! off..
My life..My studies..My results..My expectations..MY GOALS!! not yours :p

The sweet scent of your hair is ecstatic..

The touch of your hand just feels like magic..

The gleam in your eyes warms my soul..

Your voice just melts my heart..

<3

girl..you have no idea how much i am missing you in my life right now <3

Time passes..
Moments becomes memories..
The times we spent together..
The moments we share..
Those beautiful memories that are made..
Though it may seem short...
Time is not an issue for us to be together..
As there is no time limit when its forever(i hope)...
hehe..

Girl you are so one in a million
♥

It used to be a dream..Thinking of being with you with my eyes closed..Now its reality..I face it with my eyes wide open..Knowing you will be there by my side

<3

Jack of all trades..master of none...Till when will i find myself...damn it..

Those small numbers

97 minutes - longest conversation on the phone..

2171 messages-received and counting..

2349 messages-sent and counting..

5 months,26 days,

14 hours, 20minutes and counting since i welcomed you in^^..

Can these numbers ever stop growing..

It better not.. X)

<3<3<3<3

Dang!!

I feel so useless..I cant do anything.. Its like I am a by stander seeing you get hurt every step you take..Even though you say its ok..Its not.. How does getting hit so hard seem ok to you??

Still trying hard dear..

sorry for taking so long..:(

Valentine

Happy Valentines Day Dear!!

I guess i will not ask if you would wanna be my valentine..

All i want is just to keep you safe..

Make you feel good..Warm..

To be able to love you and care with all my heart..<3

And also since i am already blogging..

i might as well apologize for that day..(you know for what :p)

I love you so much dear!<3

Happy valentines day..♥

I HATE YOU

I HATE YOU

I HATE YOU

:'(

screw it..tis just 10 days..if its what it seems..10 days nothing compared to the lifetime i want and hopefully gonna spend with you..<3

Not gonna whine about it..Not gonna express it..Not gonna blog about it..I am just gonna keep it in..And lets see how long does it take for it to implode inside of me..Or maybe i can even contain it if i have the will power..

~What does not kill you makes you stronger~

Happy Birthday!!

Happy birthday darling^^

Another year older..

Another year wiser..

Another year more beautiful..Inside and outside..

Another year more lovable.. =p

Have a blast..

For its your last birthday for your high scvholly ear.. xD

Happy Birthday again darling..

love you lots!! <3

Feeling Useless :(

Damn it..All i can do is sit by as i watch you suffer..Damn i cant do anything..I cant be there by your side..I cant talk you out of it..I cant hold you and tell you its gonna be ok..Damn i cant do what you do to me when i am in your situation..Even a thousand sorries is pointless..Still.......

I AM SOO SORRY

:'(

OH MY GOD!! * speechless* and scared..0.0

Thanks

Thanks for being there when i need you...
Thanks for your advice for me not to have a major bust up..
Thanks for caring endlessly..
Thanks for what you have done past,present and future..
Thanks for your words of encouragement..
Thanks for your love..
Thanks for everything...

What else can i say..
Just this line..
I'd do anything for you dear..
Anything..
Coz you mean everything to me..

You're my everything..
I love you..
♥

Damn it..Stupid week..Had my hair cut for all the wrong reasons by stupid teacher..then got infected with have flu and soar throat..Lets hope karma works..

I just dont like it..To be unable to be there for you when you are in need..When you are down..All i can do is tell you its gonna be alright.. Which is all just words and sounds..I dont care about what you say anymore..I want to be there for you..To see you..Even if its just once in a while..And thank god i manage to sort of get the chance after CNY..

Not all lies are bad.. This lie got me closer to you..(you know what i mean .. :p)

You Just Dont Get It

How many times do i have to tell you....i wanna do what i wanna do..but still..you just dont get it...Thank god i failed my exam..and got you so worked up..to prove that i will decide what to do with my life..NOT YOU!!!